Eight months

It's been a whirlwind of a month: first In-N-Out, first donut, first time meeting lots and lots of people, first time keeping a secret, first time being able to tell a secret: I'm going to have a new cousin this year!!!*  But this month I also experienced a midlife crisis in advance regarding my career.

As some of you know, I have had plans to be a spaceman for quite some time.  I even have the uniform.  It really seemed the perfect job for me because wouldn't you know, astronauts wear diapers too!

But then this month, I went on an airplane to California and it TOOK WAY TOO LONG.  Now, I don't know where California is, but Mommy says the moon is further.  I don't see how that can be, because if a cow can jump over it, surely it can't be *too* far away.  But just in case, I don't think I'll be a spaceman.

So then I thought, "Maybe I'll be a sailor."  Things started out pretty well on that front - after all, who wouldn't love a sailor with a bright blue cap?

But then I went overboard, courtesy of Uncle Andrew, and decided that maybe the sea is not calling my name.

Maybe a professional jockey?  That was a really exciting prospect at first, and I threw my heart and soul into being the very very best.

This is a face racing to win.  Or filling a diaper.  Whichever.

But my goodness, after riding hard for what seemed like FOREVER, I didn't move an inch!

Slowest. Mount. Ever.

I then considered a career in athletics, but then I watched the Super Bowl and it just looked too painful.

Oh sure, laughing at other people's pain is fine, but I'm just not cut out for it myself.

Professional eating?  I'd be great if only contests involved peas, squash, green beans, and carrots.  Man, I practically inhale that stuff.  And I have a great tolerance for mess, which is a must in the professional eating arena.

But it seems most people are interested in watching people inhale hot dogs, and Mommy won't let me try those for some reason.  There's also too long of a list of things that I don't like: pears, peaches, turkey, yogurt, applesauce.  Mommy thought my tastebuds might be broken, but it turns out I really like ice cream.

Maybe a drummer?

Too loud.  I just don't know that I could fit a nap in.  How about a burger flipper?

I accept French fries, though, thanks to my pal Grandpa.

Too hot, and I don't like meat.  Punk rocker?  I gots the hair for it:

We'll see if she still thinks this is cute in fifteen years.

Mommy wouldn't take me seriously.  She kept saying that I was so cute with a mohawk, and I don't think that's the statement punk rockers are going for.  How about a zookeeper?

Eight months

Eh.  I prefer to have others clean up after my messes, not the other way around.  Maybe a professional napper would suit me better.

Besides, I have two teenage uncles to join me in that career any time.

Mommy says there's not much of a market for that (and besides, I'm not really all that good at it anyway).

*sigh*  Fortunately, it's not all bleak.  Grandma seems to be convinced that I would make an A+ model, and I got in a lot of practice in California.

What makes me smile?  Knowing that Uncle Dave is gonna give me a cousin close to my age!

So there you have it.  I'm all set on a career (although a fire truck sped by earlier and so I may change my mind again).   I went swimming and have even met six out of nine (!!!) great-grandparents!  I mean, how many eight-month-olds can claim that blessing?

I guess it was a pretty good month.  :)

*[Ed. note: just to clarify, the new cousin is a California cousin, not a sibling to the twin cousins.  Don't start rumors, please.]

I thought I wouldn't have to worry about it until junior high at least

Kekoa has discovered that he can suck his own tongue.  This is presumably to make up for his decided rejection of all four brands of pacifiers we desperately shoved into his face hoping for some peace and quiet.

I first noticed when I put him down for a nap.  Shortly after, I heard what sounded like two very bad kissers in his room.

Slurp.  Smack.  Pfffft.  Slurperty slurp slurp.

I poked my head in to find Kekoa, sucking away on his tongue and quite contentedly putting himself to sleep.

The sound is vaguely reminiscent of what you might hear when you surprise a pair of seventh graders in the bushes behind the McDonald's.

*twitch*

Happy Valentine's Day.

A Little Perspective

Kekoa woke up last night.  Crying.  At 3am.  Again.

I think the hardest thing to deal with as a mother to an infant is sleep regression.  I mean, the first couple months are hard, but you expect to be sleep-deprived, so you grit your teeth and bear it.

But being blindsided by a baby who's capable of sleeping well?  Who's accustomed to sleeping well?  Who knows he's supposed to be sleeping well?  But for whatever reason, he doesn't.  Those are the times I feel the frustration welling up -- at the baby, at the sleeping husband, at the world.  Would somebody just make things be the way they're supposed to be already?

"Supposed to be."  What exactly does that mean?  Am I supposed to expect uninterrupted sleep?  Am I supposed to believe that the nighttime hours are mine, to be jealously and selfishly guarded for myself?

I picked him up, muttering under my breath to him to just be quiet, and wondered what he wanted this time: to eat? to talk? to practice crawling or walking or screeching?  Babies wake up for the weirdest reasons.

No, none of those things.  The moment I picked him up, he stopped crying, clasped his pudgy hands around my neck, and nuzzled his chin into my neck.  I felt tension just draining out of his body.  I didn't rock, sing, pat, walk, nurse, or rub him back to sleep.  I just sat there while he hugged me.  Then I lay him back down and he drifted back to sleep.

He only wanted a hug.  He only wanted to know that he wasn't alone in the world, that mommy was still there, that she smelled, felt, sounded the same.  Maybe he had a bad dream or an unexpected noise startled him awake or...maybe not.  Maybe he just needed to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

I lay on my back in the darkness and remembered the first few weeks of having him.  I remembered worrying about whether his belly button was ever going to dry up, worrying about how many diapers he was filling, worrying about whether he would ever learn to latch correctly and what if he didn't?

It seems so funny now that that I wasted time worrying about those things, which seemed so ominous at the time but lasted just a couple weeks and seem like a distant memory.

Sometimes I still worry about little things, though.  Sometimes I worry that night wake-ups will become a habit if I don't nip it in the bud.  That if I nurse him to sleep, he'll want to be put to sleep that way forever.  That he won't learn to be independent, that he'll become a snacker if I feed him too often, that maybe if I were a little stricter in routine he would sleep better and be happier.

But then last night I thought about Someday, when I'll look at him and think, "My goodness, my baby's a man-child."  And then not too long after that, I'll drop the "child" from the description.  And then I won't see my baby at all, but a man who seems a stranger to me ("could he have come from me?") and yet impossibly familiar.

It will seem so silly to me then, that I worried about whether he nurses to sleep or whether I carry him too much.  What's the worst that can happen?  That for a year, maybe two, he'll wake up and ask for mommy?  That he'll need a middle-of-the-night snuggle to ease his precious baby mind?  Years that will seem like such a short time in the long run.

Sometimes changes are needed NOW for sanity's sake.  That's fine - we make those changes as necessary. But I don't want to parent out of fear for the future.  If we're all happy with an arrangement, I don't want to miss the precious moments with my baby today because I'm afraid of...what?  That I won't want those precious moments with my baby tomorrow?

For now, I want to snuggle my baby just a little bit longer.  And if that means he wants an extra snuggle tomorrow...that's fine by me.

Seven Months and All is Well

Hello all!  I know you can't believe it, but it's that time again: I'm another month older and that much closer to conquering the world.

The month started out fabulously - my first snowfall and my first Christmas!  It snowed on Christmas Eve.  Daddy was home from work, so we took a long walk.  I love walks - this is me getting ready (Mommy took this picture so that Grandma and Nana know she's dressing me appropriately):

 

 Then I got to ride on Daddy's back.  I was so warm and cozy and comfortable that I fell asleep, after catching snowflakes and trying to eat them.

Could you ask for a better first Christmas landscape?

Speaking of Daddy, I like to copy him because someday I'm going to be like him.  He helps me by letting me wear his clothes.

Okay, so just his hat.  And sometimes his shoes.

In the world of physical development, last month I was all into trying to crawl like my cousin Will.  But it's TOO EMBARRASSING.  Things like this keep happening:

"Mom, why are you taking pictures when you should be helping me get unstuck?"

 Quite understandably, I much prefer walking.  Getting stuck under couches is quite beneath my dignity.  Of course, I need help because I'm not very good at keeping my balance, but what are parents for, right?  I mean, what's the point of being a stay-at-home mom if you're not going to help or hold me all day long?

 I'm trying to cut my top teeth, so I'll pretty much chew on anything I can get my hands on.  Which is great, because I can get my hands on lots of things! But the most convenient is my thumb.  I don't really suck on it, but I love chewing on it.









In other news, Mommy told me that I have another first coming up: first plane ride!  I didn't know what a plane was at first, but then she explained and I was like, 'What? No way!"

Then she told me we were going on a plane because we were going to Grandma and Grandpa's house and I was like, "Yes!  No way is Grandma gonna make me eat green beans while I'm there!"

This is a face that knows ice cream is in his future (thanks, Grandpa).

And then I remembered that there's still a whole week before we leave that I still have to eat green beans and I was like:  "Bummer."  I'm not really a big fan of green beans (but I love squash!).

"Could we just fast forward a week, please?"

I'm also doing my best to stay in touch with my grandparents not only here on Mommy's blog, but also by phone.  I'm just experiencing a few technical difficulties...

...I know it has to do with putting the phone to your mouth, but somehow I just can't get it to work!

Ah well.  I'll figure it out someday.  Until then, I'll see you here next month!

~Kekoa

Identity Crisis

My blog is having an identity crisis.

Sometimes it wants to be a mommy blog and talk about fun things like babywearing.  Other times it wants to be a philosophical blog.  And then sometimes it wants to be about the homeschooling movement and the effects - both good and bad - that it's had on the second generation.

With all this internal turmoil, it's ended up being a "Life of Kekoa" blog for the benefit of the grandparents.

So hello, audience.  What do you want it to be?  Blogs are fantastic creatures in that when they bend to peer pressure, everyone is quite pleased with them and no one accuses them of being spineless.  But it needs to make up its mind before I lose interest completely.  It's so hard to carry on a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't know who they are.

So...should I stick to "Our Life"?  Or are there other topics you want to hear from us on?

(And don't worry, CA peeps.  Whatever else it is, it will still contain Kekoa & friends as a major attraction.  I know that's why you read.  ;)

Hopes, dreams, aspirations...things that go bump in the night

As you probably guessed from an earlier post, I don't make New Year's Resolutions.

I do, however, believe that growth is intentional.  And to that end, Josh and I had a discussion last night on where we would like to see ourselves and our family go, and how we plan to get there. 

By no means are these "this year only" things.  Many of these are ongoing - things we started last year but  feel we can grow more in that area.  Others will only last a little while before they need to be adjusted according to Kekoa's age.

So here they are: my goals for growth.  Not for the year, necessarily, but for however long it takes for these goals to become ingrained habits, or until this particular season of life changes.

Immediate Family:

• Establish family dinners when we add dinner to Kekoa's solids next month.  
• We've started praying with Kekoa before bed and want to start reading his Bible story book to him as well (this will have to wait until he's older...right now he can't quite make it through).

Extended Family: 

• Find ways to purposefully include Kekoa's grandparents in his life.  Right now we're trying to make consistent calls via webcam and that's great, but as he grows I want to find something for him to share with each set of grandparents.  I'm drawing a blank on how to do that right now (ideas, anyone?  How do you keep your children plugged in with their long-distance grandparents?).
• I want to make regular phone calls to our own grandparents.

Church:

• Since Kekoa is in the (wonderful beautiful amazing) habit of napping on my lap right through worship (!!!) and the sermon, we've mostly been back-row spectators on Sunday mornings this year.  Now we're attending Sunday School, so I want to start helping in nursery during that time period.

Community/Personal Spiritual Goal: 

• Become a initiator of relationships: each day I want to email, write to, or call one person.  I've been doing this for several months now as part of my daily routine. 
• Maintain relationships through the practice of hospitality (I did a blog post on this earlier). 

Physical goal:

• Working on slowly cutting out more processed foods and replacing canned goods with fresh or dried alternatives (emphasis on slowly).
• In exercise and lifestyle, focus on healthy, not necessarily on distance or weight or how many reps I can do.   Pregnancy and then baby weight were fabulous motivators to keep exercising, and now I need to rely on long-term perspective rather than immediate gratification as a motivation.

So - that's the plan!  We want our household to continuously grow in mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and physical health, and these are our baby steps to get there.

My Best Discoveries of 2012 (in no particular order)

[I decided not to do "people moments" because otherwise this post would pretty much be "Kekoa is adorable when he does x" and "my husband is a life saver."]

1.  Side-lying nursing, a.k.a. Slayer of Sleep Deprivation, a.k.a. I-don't-care-if-this-baby-falls-asleep-nursing-as-long-as-I-can-sleep-too.

2.  Cloth diapers are not nearly as gross as they seem.  Or maybe I'm completely desensitivized. (also, they're CUTE!  Don't believe me?  Check these puppies out.  Totally going on next year's wishlist.  :)



Even solid colors can be cute.  :)

3. East of Eden. Best book I read this year - it was beautiful.

4. Gliders (the rocking chair kind) = awesome.

5.  That Kekoa was a boy.  But looking back, I can't believe we ever thought he could be anything but. Of course he was a boy.

6.  Psych.  Hilarious. 

7.  Swagbucks, which paid for Christmas this year, and Ebates, which helped me spend $7 total on maternity clothes (also a big help: amazing SILs!  Also: belly bands.).

8.  Eric Carle.  Better than a pacifier at inducing quiet. 

We're Eric Carle groupies.

9.  Making your own yogurt can be easy, fun, and extremely gratifying.  And your (cheap!) yogurt is a fabulous substitute for sour cream in dips.  And y'all, I am a Sour Cream Addict, so this is a good thing.

10.  Mei tai baby carriers.  SO COMFORTABLE if you tie them right, Daddy-approved, and can be worn in so many ways.

Mei tai baby carriers: 100% baby approved.

 
What are your favorites from this last year?