Dear Son,
This month, I can see that you have grasped a cold, hard truth of the world: that eating is a zero-sum game.
I mean this: you have discovered that if I take a bite of peach, you cannot take that same bite. Every bite for me is one bite less for you. Sharing a mango three ways results in significantly less mango per person than if we allowed someone -- say, you -- to eat the whole thing alone.
It is not an easy truth. But you, remarkable boy, seem to have an open-hearted generosity with your cauliflower. I respect that.
But I have also noticed that it is much harder for you to watch the pile of pineapple on Mommy's plate dwindle away without ever reaching your plate. Even if you have both hands and mouth full of pineapple, you desire more, more. You must protect that precious pineapple from being subject to Mommy's appetite.
You are not wrong, I think, to surmise that you would enjoy the fruit more than Mommy would - a sort of utilitarian assumption, but true nevertheless. It always hurts me a little to eat a nice plump tomato. We all enjoy it more if I give it to you: you because you like your food, and me because I'm a sucker for that little full-mouthed grin you give as you beg for more.
But no. I do not give it to you. Do you know why?
Because, my son, you are a firstborn. Perhaps someday--Lord willing--there will be TWO full-mouthed little grins begging for more, and then my son, I will have to give to them equally. And even though it will still be hard for you (because sometimes it is still hard for me!), it will be less hard to resign yourself at 14 months than at 2 years, or 3 years, or 4 or 5.
A friend once said that the best thing that ever happened for their firstborn's character was the second-born. As a second-born myself, I wholeheartedly agree. I'm of the opinion that second-borns are God's gift to the world.
But even if you never get a second-born sibling (sorry grandparents, this was not a long-winded announcement of any sort), you still have cousins. And you will have more cousins, and then there are other people in the world, and then someday you may even have your own little full-mouthed grinners looking up at you. And even though sharing with them may be as easy as sharing cauliflower, you will also have to help them share with others. THAT can be as hard as giving up mango.
And that, my son, is why I ate the last piece of mango tonight. Sorry.
