Don't Mind Me, I'm Just a Little Crazy

This month, all the work we've done toward correcting our sleep debt from the first two months of Kekoa's life was erased. Kaput.  It all started with an innocent introduction:

But ended in angry red splotches all over Kekoa's neck, arms, and torso:

It looks like a self-portrait, doesn't it?  That's one talented baby. 

The result is that our darling little boy started napping in 15-30 minute increments and waking up every 45-60 minutes at night with the itchies.

And then!  As if that wasn't enough to produce some eye-rubbing, he started teething.  We didn't even notice until the first tooth cut because we just assumed the fussiness was due to the rash (so much for parent-of-the-year!).

I'm a fairly organized person.  I keep a careful calendar.  We are punctual people who like to be prepared way ahead of time.

It's just a little bit scary when you don't even notice your decreased mental functions until you start making stupid mistakes.  Twice now I've written things on the wrong day on my calendar.  The other night I wrote the wrong time and we showed up as the party was ending.  [they took pity on us and pulled out the leftovers.  that was nice of them.]

I was thinking about writing a post about sleep deprivation, and I thought "Haha, I should write about how I'm afraid to even post anything because I don't know it will come out right."  As a joke, right?

Funny joke.  I came here and realized that my half-finished rough draft had been accidentally published, sans pictures and with random sentence fragments reminding me where to start again.  So I guess you guys get to see my editing process. *sigh*

(Oh wait.  Kekoa wrote that...so clearly it was his fault).

Is this what it's like to be losing your mind?  You don't notice anything different because you lose it gradually...bit by bit...but in the isolated moments of sanity, you realize that your marbles are clattering around on the floor. 

I'm starting to feel a distinct lack of self-confidence.  So many times I've walked up to a doorstep and started to second-guess myself: "Is this the right time?  Is this the right day?  Oh my gosh, what if they're in their pjs?"

The rash is mostly clear.  The first tooth has cut, the second is on its way.  My leg is jiggling uncontrollably because I don't often drink caffeine, but lately I've been taking just a little bit more...

Will I read this post tomorrow and discover some uber-embarrassing mistake?  I can only wonder.

But in the meantime, at least I'm oblivious to the crazy, as long as it lasts.