FAQs

I thought I'd be helpful and post a list of my top 15 FAQS (and their answers...).  So here goes:

(1)  Q:  So, are you ready and excited for baby to come?
A:  If you have to ask, you've probably never been eight and a half months pregnant.  I'd be ready for baby to come if we lived in a shack with no bed and had not a stitch of baby clothes.

(2)  Q: Kekoa?  What kind of name is that?
A: A cool one!  The other day I saw it written down and thought, "Hey, I really like that name!"  Good thing....
  But seriously, it's the first part of Josh's middle name, which isn't actually Kekoa's middle name because he actually will have four names: first, first middle, second middle (which contains "Kekoa"), and last.

(3)  Q: Are you *sure* it's a boy?
A:  Yup.  Confirmed by two ultrasounds of our little exhibitionist.  Let's just say we're gonna have to work on the whole modesty thing with this kid.

(4)  Q:  Are you *sure* there's only one baby?
A:  Ha. ha. ha.  You probably think you're the first person to make that joke, right?

(5)  Q:  You don't look eight and a half months pregnant.  Are you *sure* your due date is right?
A:  *sigh*  How can you ask question 4 AND question 5 in the same breath?

(6)  Q:  So...enjoying being pregnant in this heat?
A:  If you're asking this question, then you know how heat affects pregnant women.  Which means you've either (1) been pregnant during the summer or (2) been married to a pregnant woman over the summer.  Which means that (3) you're really mean for asking this question.  A far better question would be: "Can I get you some ice-cold water or lemonade?  Or better yet, a swimming pool?"  In that case, the answer is yes.

(7)  Q: Have you done all your shopping and decorating for your nursery?
A: hahahahahahahahaha.  Shopping and decorating?  What's that?  For a ... nursery?  I do not know this word of which you speak.

(8)  Q:  Have you washed all your little baby clothes/sheets/slipcovers/burp cloths before using?
A:  ROFL.   You're funny.

(9)  Q:  Why cloth diapers?  Isn't that, like, disgusting?
A:  You can just call me Scrooge.

No, okay, serious answer because some of you really want to know: because Josh and I have three goals. (a) Get through grad school without debt, (b) have a healthy happy marriage at the end of grad school (i.e., one that's not strained and stressed over finances), and (c) have more children in the future without compromising the first two goals.  Cloth is my contribution.

(10)  Q:  I've been to your apartment.  How exactly are you going to fit a baby in there?
A:  We're all just going to love each other a little more.  And I enjoy getting rid of stuff.  So he'll fit.

(11)  Q:  No crib??? 
A:  Refer to question 10.  There's room for a baby or a crib, but not both.   I choose baby.

(12)  Q:  So do you like your midwives?
A: I like them enough.  Out of the four delivery midwives that rotate, there are two that I would love to attend my birth because I like their frank and honest styles, one that I don't know very well but like what I've seen, and one that I'm convinced thinks I'm about 15 years old.  While I'd prefer one of the others be on call when I go into labor, I doubt I'll really care much when the time comes.

(13)  Q:  Please, have more food.
A:  That's not a question.  But okay.

(14)  Q:  Here, wouldn't you like to sit in the biggest and comfiest chair we have?  Just let me kick this sweet elderly lady out first....
A:  Actually, I'm most comfortable on hard wooden straight-backed chairs and cross-legged on the floor.  But for some reason, it makes people uncomfortable to have pregnant women on the floor....why is that?  It's really the only position that doesn't make my hips and back hurt.

(15) Q: So have you chosen a parenting style?
A:  Uhhhhh......mine???  I suspect I will use a mix of attachment parenting and the baby whisperer, but mostly we'll do what works.