This article is very very good.
I've been thinking about blogging a lot lately, but when I get home from work, all desire to sit at a computer flees. My job is like running a daily marathon -exhausting, demanding, but satisfying. The end of the fiscal year is coming up, and then the auditors come. Which means I am chin-deep in paperwork. But my boss is happy with my job, our supporters are happy with my job, and I'm happy with my job. And that's a good thing.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Love Another Child
I recently read the book Love Another Child, by the Jeubs. I didn't see anything I didn't agree with - children are a blessing, don't push them off until it's too late, open your heart to love them, etc. But I feel that their message needs an added element: preparation.
Children are a blessing - yes. Always a blessing - yes. But they are not an unqualified blessing. An unqualified blessing is one that is a blessing in all seasons of life, and equally desireable to all people. But I find that to quite clearly and obviously false. If it were, then there would be no problem with having children born out of wedlock.
That indicates that there is a certain amount of preparation that is needed to start having children. I know married couples who are too selfish to be good parents - would having children be a blessing to them? Surely they would love their children as blessings. But if they don't have a strong marriage, I would caution them against having children. They are simply not equipped to parent well and will hurt their children with bitter fights between mom and dad.
Or what about this scenario? Josh and I are only just now figuring out how our spiritual gifts work together. We are still talking over and praying about several aspects of our marriage that we would like to see develop more fully. Would it be wise to introduce a child to our marriage before we've worked out how we can work together spiritually?
Josh and I would love to be parents. But another factor for us is Josh's plans to attend grad school, working full-time and attending school at night - returning sometime between 10:30 and 11:00 each night. He would simply not have the ability to be involved in the life of a child(ren), except on weekends (which will be his main study time).
Now, if we already had children, we would do what we needed to do to finish up and love that child as much as we could. If we happened to have a child now, we would love him or her and make the necessary adjustments. But why knowingly walk into a situation in which both parents aren't fully able to take an active parenting role? Isn't that, in a way, cheating the child of our presence? Isn't it cheating each other in our still-developing marriage - if I'm consumed with caring for a baby in the few hours Josh is home, will our marriage continue to grow?
At work, I hear stories every day from both men and women who wish they hadn't been so quick to get pregnant. They weren't prepared in their marriages. They weren't knowledgeable enough about their spouse. They weren't mature enough for parenting. They were too busy meeting career goals to really parent. And something happened that ended in those children being taken away. Their selfishness brought them back to their college drinking days. Their spouse got caught bringing drugs into the home. They handled a situation with a child in a poor way or left the child unattended, and the authorities found out.
And their hearts are broken. They loved another child before they were prepared, and now they are separated. They don't regret having the child, because they truly genuinely love him. But because they weren't prepared to take on a parenting role, both the child and the parent are suffering through a foster care experience.
Josh and I don't fear any of these scenarios for ourselves, but we do want to offer our children a loving home that is prepared for them. We're not waiting until we have the perfect marriage (because kids will definitely bring out new sides of us!) or until we can "afford" kids (what does that even mean, anyway?). We're simply waiting until we can offer the time and a healthy, fruitful marriage to our children. So we feel that at this point in our lives, the wisest thing we can do is focus our hearts and time into preparing our marriage and our home, before we take on the responsibilities of parenting.
Is it a time issue? We're both young - most people our age have some college left to finish. We don't want to wait any longer than it takes Josh to finish grad school. But I would say that even those couples several years older than us shouldn't rush into having kids just because their biological clock is ticking. They should have kids only after they have invested in each other enough that they can provide their kids with a stable home. For some, that will take longer than others. Some may even regret, at the end of the child-bearing lives, that they didn't have more kids. But they will be better parents in the end, because they took the time to thoughtfully and purposefully prepare for parenting. And I would say being a quality parent is more important than having lots of kids - even if you love every one - and your kids will be better-equipped in their own marriages and parenting.
It's not that I disagree with the Jeubs. But I feel that something needs to be added more strongly to their message. Children are to be loved, no matter what situation you are in financially or emotionally. But don't go selfishly bringing them into a home because you want a child or want that "achievement", without taking into consideration the huge amount of time that you will need to invest in them and in your marriage.
Any comments on this? Are my thoughts the thoughts of a naive non-parent? It's okay to say yes - I welcome correction from people who have parented before!
Children are a blessing - yes. Always a blessing - yes. But they are not an unqualified blessing. An unqualified blessing is one that is a blessing in all seasons of life, and equally desireable to all people. But I find that to quite clearly and obviously false. If it were, then there would be no problem with having children born out of wedlock.
That indicates that there is a certain amount of preparation that is needed to start having children. I know married couples who are too selfish to be good parents - would having children be a blessing to them? Surely they would love their children as blessings. But if they don't have a strong marriage, I would caution them against having children. They are simply not equipped to parent well and will hurt their children with bitter fights between mom and dad.
Or what about this scenario? Josh and I are only just now figuring out how our spiritual gifts work together. We are still talking over and praying about several aspects of our marriage that we would like to see develop more fully. Would it be wise to introduce a child to our marriage before we've worked out how we can work together spiritually?
Josh and I would love to be parents. But another factor for us is Josh's plans to attend grad school, working full-time and attending school at night - returning sometime between 10:30 and 11:00 each night. He would simply not have the ability to be involved in the life of a child(ren), except on weekends (which will be his main study time).
Now, if we already had children, we would do what we needed to do to finish up and love that child as much as we could. If we happened to have a child now, we would love him or her and make the necessary adjustments. But why knowingly walk into a situation in which both parents aren't fully able to take an active parenting role? Isn't that, in a way, cheating the child of our presence? Isn't it cheating each other in our still-developing marriage - if I'm consumed with caring for a baby in the few hours Josh is home, will our marriage continue to grow?
At work, I hear stories every day from both men and women who wish they hadn't been so quick to get pregnant. They weren't prepared in their marriages. They weren't knowledgeable enough about their spouse. They weren't mature enough for parenting. They were too busy meeting career goals to really parent. And something happened that ended in those children being taken away. Their selfishness brought them back to their college drinking days. Their spouse got caught bringing drugs into the home. They handled a situation with a child in a poor way or left the child unattended, and the authorities found out.
And their hearts are broken. They loved another child before they were prepared, and now they are separated. They don't regret having the child, because they truly genuinely love him. But because they weren't prepared to take on a parenting role, both the child and the parent are suffering through a foster care experience.
Josh and I don't fear any of these scenarios for ourselves, but we do want to offer our children a loving home that is prepared for them. We're not waiting until we have the perfect marriage (because kids will definitely bring out new sides of us!) or until we can "afford" kids (what does that even mean, anyway?). We're simply waiting until we can offer the time and a healthy, fruitful marriage to our children. So we feel that at this point in our lives, the wisest thing we can do is focus our hearts and time into preparing our marriage and our home, before we take on the responsibilities of parenting.
Is it a time issue? We're both young - most people our age have some college left to finish. We don't want to wait any longer than it takes Josh to finish grad school. But I would say that even those couples several years older than us shouldn't rush into having kids just because their biological clock is ticking. They should have kids only after they have invested in each other enough that they can provide their kids with a stable home. For some, that will take longer than others. Some may even regret, at the end of the child-bearing lives, that they didn't have more kids. But they will be better parents in the end, because they took the time to thoughtfully and purposefully prepare for parenting. And I would say being a quality parent is more important than having lots of kids - even if you love every one - and your kids will be better-equipped in their own marriages and parenting.
It's not that I disagree with the Jeubs. But I feel that something needs to be added more strongly to their message. Children are to be loved, no matter what situation you are in financially or emotionally. But don't go selfishly bringing them into a home because you want a child or want that "achievement", without taking into consideration the huge amount of time that you will need to invest in them and in your marriage.
Any comments on this? Are my thoughts the thoughts of a naive non-parent? It's okay to say yes - I welcome correction from people who have parented before!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Happy as a clam
I was chatting with a friend tonight and I came to a realization (okay, I knew it all along...but sometimes things just...hit you): I really like my life.
So work feels like it's out-of-control and I've been given more responsibilities than I can handle. We live pretty frugally, which means skipping a lot of the pleasures our single friends are enjoying, like eating out and taking weekend trips. We're staring down a couple years of tuition in the face. But life is good. Not good -- great.
Our church is embracing us and making us feel at home. We don't indulge a whole lot, but we have everything we need. We have good jobs for good employers, and even though my work right now is crazy, it's pretty clear that my bosses trust me and we have good working relationships. Despite the rapidly changing office setting, I feel like we're moving in a good direction, are taking steps to correct some organizational issues, and are strengthening as a (much smaller) team.
But best of all, as a couple we are are growing with a purpose and with direction. We have a shared, concrete goal for the next 5-10 years, and we have a way to work towards and prepare for it, which is good for our marriage. We are reading our Bibles together and sharing what we've learned.
Our apartment is comfortable and actually more space than we need. Our food is tasty and filling.
I am young among my friends in age, but as I was listening to one gal 6 years my elder talk about her relationship with her boyfriend, I realized that we are older in many ways. And because we are "older", we enjoy stability and not as much drama. I have a wonderful husband who keeps a close eye on my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. He cherishes me in a way few women (sadly) are cherished.
To be honest, I can't think of anything in my life I would change right now, at least not in circumstances.
It's a wonderful life. :)
So work feels like it's out-of-control and I've been given more responsibilities than I can handle. We live pretty frugally, which means skipping a lot of the pleasures our single friends are enjoying, like eating out and taking weekend trips. We're staring down a couple years of tuition in the face. But life is good. Not good -- great.
Our church is embracing us and making us feel at home. We don't indulge a whole lot, but we have everything we need. We have good jobs for good employers, and even though my work right now is crazy, it's pretty clear that my bosses trust me and we have good working relationships. Despite the rapidly changing office setting, I feel like we're moving in a good direction, are taking steps to correct some organizational issues, and are strengthening as a (much smaller) team.
But best of all, as a couple we are are growing with a purpose and with direction. We have a shared, concrete goal for the next 5-10 years, and we have a way to work towards and prepare for it, which is good for our marriage. We are reading our Bibles together and sharing what we've learned.
Our apartment is comfortable and actually more space than we need. Our food is tasty and filling.
I am young among my friends in age, but as I was listening to one gal 6 years my elder talk about her relationship with her boyfriend, I realized that we are older in many ways. And because we are "older", we enjoy stability and not as much drama. I have a wonderful husband who keeps a close eye on my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. He cherishes me in a way few women (sadly) are cherished.
To be honest, I can't think of anything in my life I would change right now, at least not in circumstances.
It's a wonderful life. :)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
All Members of One Body...
We had our meeting with our elders last night for membership. At least, we thought it was going to be elders, with a pastor. But when they knocked on the door, it was both our pastors and one of our elders.
We small-talked for a while ("Yep, looks like a newlywed apartment...man, when we were newlyweds I bought this dresser..."), ate cookies, and settled down into our seats. And then the questions started.
"Tell us your testimony"
"Describe to me the work and person of Jesus."
"Do you have a favorite Scripture passage?"
"How do you envision yourself using your spiritual gifts for the Body of Christ?"
And then, the Book of Church Order came out and they asked us those five little questions that determined whether we would join the local church.
It was a precious time to me. I had trouble finding a church in college. I didn't have a car, so I hopped in whatever car was available, or a church van sent to pick up stranded students. More often than not, I ended up arriving in a herd of students and then rushing to greet people so I wouldn't miss the van. I attended three different churches while I was there, for at least 4 months at each one. And in all those churches, there was only one at which I ever met the pastor (twice actually...but he didn't remember my name). No one ever asked my testimony. For all they knew, I didn't even believe in God.
Our first week at our current church was a surprise. Not only did both pastors greet us (we didn't even realize they were the pastors at the time!), but they both immediately offered to gather people to help us move in. Within a month, two different elders had invited us over to lunch to get to know us. And now, both of our pastors know our stories, know our spiritual gifts, know our struggles, know our talents, know our jobs, know our needs. We aren't members because they signed the paperwork. We are members because we are known. To make a rough analogy, you can pay your dues to be in a club - but to really belong as a member, you've got to be a part of the club.
We belong here..
And then today at lunch we mentioned to a couple co-workers that we had a meeting for membership. I was shocked at how quickly membership was bashed as "bureaucratic" and "unnecessary."
No -- a bureaucracy is paperwork and needless red tape. It is not human. And anyone who was in our home last night knows that the three men gently asking us questions and getting to know us are not a bureaucracy. They have simply made the process of joining a church one in which you can't sit by the sidelines, isolated and alone.
There is a difference between order and bureaucracy. I am comforted more and more as I watch our church in action. They are prepared to handle challenges. They are prepared to stand up against sin. They've done it, and the church has not fallen apart or crumbled in shock. Even more, they've been able to comfort each other because they know each other.
I am a member of the universal Body of Christ. What does that mean? That we share beliefs, that we have a common heritage. But that means nothing if I am not accountable.
I am a member of the local Body of Christ. I am accountable to them, I have submitted to them, and I am responsible to contribute to them. We share beliefs. We have a common heritage. But even better - there is a system set in place that helps us remember that.
Let all things be done decently and in order.
We small-talked for a while ("Yep, looks like a newlywed apartment...man, when we were newlyweds I bought this dresser..."), ate cookies, and settled down into our seats. And then the questions started.
"Tell us your testimony"
"Describe to me the work and person of Jesus."
"Do you have a favorite Scripture passage?"
"How do you envision yourself using your spiritual gifts for the Body of Christ?"
And then, the Book of Church Order came out and they asked us those five little questions that determined whether we would join the local church.
It was a precious time to me. I had trouble finding a church in college. I didn't have a car, so I hopped in whatever car was available, or a church van sent to pick up stranded students. More often than not, I ended up arriving in a herd of students and then rushing to greet people so I wouldn't miss the van. I attended three different churches while I was there, for at least 4 months at each one. And in all those churches, there was only one at which I ever met the pastor (twice actually...but he didn't remember my name). No one ever asked my testimony. For all they knew, I didn't even believe in God.
Our first week at our current church was a surprise. Not only did both pastors greet us (we didn't even realize they were the pastors at the time!), but they both immediately offered to gather people to help us move in. Within a month, two different elders had invited us over to lunch to get to know us. And now, both of our pastors know our stories, know our spiritual gifts, know our struggles, know our talents, know our jobs, know our needs. We aren't members because they signed the paperwork. We are members because we are known. To make a rough analogy, you can pay your dues to be in a club - but to really belong as a member, you've got to be a part of the club.
We belong here..
And then today at lunch we mentioned to a couple co-workers that we had a meeting for membership. I was shocked at how quickly membership was bashed as "bureaucratic" and "unnecessary."
No -- a bureaucracy is paperwork and needless red tape. It is not human. And anyone who was in our home last night knows that the three men gently asking us questions and getting to know us are not a bureaucracy. They have simply made the process of joining a church one in which you can't sit by the sidelines, isolated and alone.
There is a difference between order and bureaucracy. I am comforted more and more as I watch our church in action. They are prepared to handle challenges. They are prepared to stand up against sin. They've done it, and the church has not fallen apart or crumbled in shock. Even more, they've been able to comfort each other because they know each other.
I am a member of the universal Body of Christ. What does that mean? That we share beliefs, that we have a common heritage. But that means nothing if I am not accountable.
I am a member of the local Body of Christ. I am accountable to them, I have submitted to them, and I am responsible to contribute to them. We share beliefs. We have a common heritage. But even better - there is a system set in place that helps us remember that.
Let all things be done decently and in order.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I just had to share this...
Today I found a "stress-test" in a book I was reading. The test listed out a variety of factors that cause stress in your life, and had the premise that if you scored over 300 points in any single year, you were vulnerable to illness. These factors encompassed changes that can happen in a year - from moving to graduating to marrying to financial situation to deaths to divorce to law violations to personal conflicts, etc., etc., etc.
Out of curiosity I added up my total from this point last year to the present time.
388.
So I added up Josh's total.
540.
We had a good laugh over that - apparently, we are both extremely vulnerable to illness and Josh in particular should have had a meltdown. And wedding planning and finals and job hunting weren't even on the list.
We're taking it as funny, and I'm not looking for sympathy. In my opinion, it's been a great year. But I fully agree that even though all the changes have been good, they've also been incredibly stressful, and I think a good point stands:
We are always ready to support those who have had bad changes in their lives. We bring flowers, lift them up in our prayers, and write encouraging notes.
Those who are undergoing happy changes are generally expected to be happy, and can generally find a lot less support and encouragement. I practically had panic attacks as I reached the end of my last semester (finals AND house-hunting AND job-hunting AND wedding planning was a bit too much), but it seemed that anytime I demonstrated anything less that pure excitement and joy, others questioned whether I was doing the right thing. Or they would tell me that my life was so good that I had no right to complain.
Obviously, our community has supported us (although there were an enormous difference in support from our older friends who have been through our experience and our younger friends who have not). Y'all have been great, and our successful navigation through the year is no doubt due to your continued prayers and support. But I just want to make the point again: watch out for the "happy" changes in people's lives as well as the "bad" ones. Chances are, they're just as stressed, but don't feel free to express those fears and doubts.
Out of curiosity I added up my total from this point last year to the present time.
388.
So I added up Josh's total.
540.
We had a good laugh over that - apparently, we are both extremely vulnerable to illness and Josh in particular should have had a meltdown. And wedding planning and finals and job hunting weren't even on the list.
We're taking it as funny, and I'm not looking for sympathy. In my opinion, it's been a great year. But I fully agree that even though all the changes have been good, they've also been incredibly stressful, and I think a good point stands:
We are always ready to support those who have had bad changes in their lives. We bring flowers, lift them up in our prayers, and write encouraging notes.
Those who are undergoing happy changes are generally expected to be happy, and can generally find a lot less support and encouragement. I practically had panic attacks as I reached the end of my last semester (finals AND house-hunting AND job-hunting AND wedding planning was a bit too much), but it seemed that anytime I demonstrated anything less that pure excitement and joy, others questioned whether I was doing the right thing. Or they would tell me that my life was so good that I had no right to complain.
Obviously, our community has supported us (although there were an enormous difference in support from our older friends who have been through our experience and our younger friends who have not). Y'all have been great, and our successful navigation through the year is no doubt due to your continued prayers and support. But I just want to make the point again: watch out for the "happy" changes in people's lives as well as the "bad" ones. Chances are, they're just as stressed, but don't feel free to express those fears and doubts.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Time to Grow Up!
Today, whether reading Christian or secular sources, you will find all sorts of articles about my generation's failure to grow up. We're pushing off marriage, pushing off kids, pushing off responsibility, and staying as young as we can.
If forty is the new thirty, then thirty is the new twenty. And twenty is too young to be tied down with a husband!
You can tell us to get a grip. You can tell us to grow up. You can tell us that we're selfish, self-absorbed, and irresponsible. Most of these articles do that.
But you're not going to get anywhere with my generation if you don't get to the root of the issue.
Addressing the symptoms isn't enough. You can force a boy into marriage, but you can't make that marriage last. You can force him to move out, but you can't keep him out of debt. You can even frustrate him into having kids, but you can't make him a good parent.
No, you have to address the cause:
Remember the book The Greatest Generation? My Mom's disagreement with that book is that the greatest generation was the one that raised those people. The generation that had the best impact on society was the generation that taught their children how to rise up and meet challenges. The so-called "greatest generation" completely failed to pass it on.
I don't want to be harsh, but that applies to my generation as well. Do you wonder why my peers shrink at marriage? Because it started with the generation before us.
They were raised to think that marriage is limiting and that growing up is nothing but a pity.
Yes. My generation didn't arrive at this conclusion for themselves. They're really not smart enough for that. My generation was taught that it is better to be young.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard these statements:
"Just wait until you have to pay bills! Then you'll care about turning the lights off!"
"Enjoy being single! You'll never be free again!"
"Once you have kids, the honeymoon is OVER!"
"Ooooh, I'm achy. To be young again...and my waistline would be much smaller for sure"
"Remember when we were kids? Those were the days...carefree and fancy-free!"
As a teenager, I listened. I listened to the women at church talking about their problems with middle-age. I listened to the elderly complaining about their aches and pains. I listened to the dads talking, careworn with bills and payments. I saw the magazines: "Look 10 years younger in 3 easy steps!" And I got the message: young is good. Old (or even "older") is bad.
And I didn't want to grow up. It sounded stressful. I didn't want to get married. It sounded limiting. I didn't want kids, because then things would never be the same again. I was afraid to be older.
When I was about 15, I read a proverb about the glory of the silver-headed being wisdom. I realized then that every age has its drawbacks. But every age also has its own unique joys that are to be cherished and appreciated. And no age is better than another, because they all have their own special problems and benefits.
Parents, your children need to hear that from you. They need to hear what you LOVE about being your age - snuggling your children, growing with your husband and marriage, the special perspective of a mother that you wouldn't trade for the world. Yes, you might not be able to move as fast and your metabolism isn't quite the same. But isn't it worth it to watch your daughter mature into a young woman? Isn't it worth it to have your son run into your arms?
They need to know that. They need to know that when they grow up, it will be okay to be older, and that they will enjoy it. They need to know that, when you're walking with the Lord, 30 is great. 40 is great. 50 is great. They need to know that you are still learning, and that you are enjoying your life.
My generation can't grow up because they were taught to love their youth too much. They were taught that no benefits come with age. They've been taught to devalue wisdom and the experiences that bring it, and instead to value only independence and irresponsibility.
Selfish, self-absorbed, and irresponsible? Definitely. But raised to think so. So how do you fix it?
If forty is the new thirty, then thirty is the new twenty. And twenty is too young to be tied down with a husband!
You can tell us to get a grip. You can tell us to grow up. You can tell us that we're selfish, self-absorbed, and irresponsible. Most of these articles do that.
But you're not going to get anywhere with my generation if you don't get to the root of the issue.
Addressing the symptoms isn't enough. You can force a boy into marriage, but you can't make that marriage last. You can force him to move out, but you can't keep him out of debt. You can even frustrate him into having kids, but you can't make him a good parent.
No, you have to address the cause:
WHY is my generation having trouble growing up?
I don't want to be harsh, but that applies to my generation as well. Do you wonder why my peers shrink at marriage? Because it started with the generation before us.
They were raised to think that marriage is limiting and that growing up is nothing but a pity.
Yes. My generation didn't arrive at this conclusion for themselves. They're really not smart enough for that. My generation was taught that it is better to be young.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard these statements:
"Just wait until you have to pay bills! Then you'll care about turning the lights off!"
"Enjoy being single! You'll never be free again!"
"Once you have kids, the honeymoon is OVER!"
"Ooooh, I'm achy. To be young again...and my waistline would be much smaller for sure"
"Remember when we were kids? Those were the days...carefree and fancy-free!"
As a teenager, I listened. I listened to the women at church talking about their problems with middle-age. I listened to the elderly complaining about their aches and pains. I listened to the dads talking, careworn with bills and payments. I saw the magazines: "Look 10 years younger in 3 easy steps!" And I got the message: young is good. Old (or even "older") is bad.
And I didn't want to grow up. It sounded stressful. I didn't want to get married. It sounded limiting. I didn't want kids, because then things would never be the same again. I was afraid to be older.
When I was about 15, I read a proverb about the glory of the silver-headed being wisdom. I realized then that every age has its drawbacks. But every age also has its own unique joys that are to be cherished and appreciated. And no age is better than another, because they all have their own special problems and benefits.
Parents, your children need to hear that from you. They need to hear what you LOVE about being your age - snuggling your children, growing with your husband and marriage, the special perspective of a mother that you wouldn't trade for the world. Yes, you might not be able to move as fast and your metabolism isn't quite the same. But isn't it worth it to watch your daughter mature into a young woman? Isn't it worth it to have your son run into your arms?
They need to know that. They need to know that when they grow up, it will be okay to be older, and that they will enjoy it. They need to know that, when you're walking with the Lord, 30 is great. 40 is great. 50 is great. They need to know that you are still learning, and that you are enjoying your life.
My generation can't grow up because they were taught to love their youth too much. They were taught that no benefits come with age. They've been taught to devalue wisdom and the experiences that bring it, and instead to value only independence and irresponsibility.
Selfish, self-absorbed, and irresponsible? Definitely. But raised to think so. So how do you fix it?
Send the other message.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sense of Belonging
It may sound funny, but after four years of being here, I finally am starting to feel like we belong to the community. Not just the college community, but the community of our neighbors. I am finally starting to feel like we're contributors.
On Friday, we stopped to grab a bite after dinner after work and then went to a concert. And I saw not one, but two, of my AWANA girls throughout the course of the evening. Today on the way to church, some friends pulled up next to our car and waved. A visiting choir to our church brought some old friends we hadn't seen in a while. A college buddy of Josh's stopped us as we were leaving Costco.
I grew up in the"dog-and-pony" show, as my mom liked to call it. No matter where we went, there was someone who knew my mom who would report any negative behavior - and believe me, she heard about it! Skirts that were an inch too short, a thoughtless remark, an emotional outburst in public...busted. Somehow or another, word got back to Mom. Belonging to the community somehow didn't feel like such a privilege. :P
But now, having been transplanted, it is nice to have a place. It is nice to know the people I am shopping with, eating with, working with. It is nice to have that "small-town" feel, where you are not just another stranger.
And most of all, it is good to know that we belong here. It could be tempting to view this point in our lives as a transition period, a time when we're just waiting for Josh to finish grad school. It could be tempting to breeze along with superficial relationships and limited involvement in the lives of others.
But life is never transitional. Life is always the fullest right where you're at. The fact that life is always changing indicates that it never is - we must only learn how to create normalcy out of changing situations. A lot can change in a few months.
But our need for fellowship, community,and belonging never will.
On Friday, we stopped to grab a bite after dinner after work and then went to a concert. And I saw not one, but two, of my AWANA girls throughout the course of the evening. Today on the way to church, some friends pulled up next to our car and waved. A visiting choir to our church brought some old friends we hadn't seen in a while. A college buddy of Josh's stopped us as we were leaving Costco.
I grew up in the"dog-and-pony" show, as my mom liked to call it. No matter where we went, there was someone who knew my mom who would report any negative behavior - and believe me, she heard about it! Skirts that were an inch too short, a thoughtless remark, an emotional outburst in public...busted. Somehow or another, word got back to Mom. Belonging to the community somehow didn't feel like such a privilege. :P
But now, having been transplanted, it is nice to have a place. It is nice to know the people I am shopping with, eating with, working with. It is nice to have that "small-town" feel, where you are not just another stranger.
And most of all, it is good to know that we belong here. It could be tempting to view this point in our lives as a transition period, a time when we're just waiting for Josh to finish grad school. It could be tempting to breeze along with superficial relationships and limited involvement in the lives of others.
But life is never transitional. Life is always the fullest right where you're at. The fact that life is always changing indicates that it never is - we must only learn how to create normalcy out of changing situations. A lot can change in a few months.
But our need for fellowship, community,and belonging never will.
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