"That you do so more and more...."

"Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more."
~I Thessalonians 4:1

As I read this verse in my quiet time, I was thinking about when I started on-campus at PHC.  I was a good little student, and went out for a jog 4-5 times a week to stay healthy and to clear the mind.  4-5 times a week - so I ought to have been pretty in shape, right?

Wrong.  I grew more and more frustrated when, after two semesters of running consistently, I hadn't improved on stamina at all.  I would go for a run with my roommate and not be able to keep up, even though I ran more often.  I remembered back to my days of competitive running and how quick I was for a little kid, and I just didn't understand why I wasn't improving.  It's not that I didn't know how to run.  It's that I was physically not any stronger.  The next year, I dropped running and stayed in shape in other ways (one of which resulted in some pretty nice biceps ;). 

In the past few months, away from my exercise source at school, I've picked up running again.  But I've noticed a drastic difference in my physical ability.  What I couldn't achieve before after a year of running, I've attained in a month.  The differentiating factor?  I'm running in a fitness center rather than outside. My allergies, provoked by the beautiful scenery on my favorite running trail, had resulted in asthmatic reactions that forced me to stop running after only a couple of minutes.  I foolishly continued on the same path for a year, even though it was making me literally sick.

I disdain gyms.  I always have and probably always will.  I don't like the loud music that can't be turned off, I don't like having other people around during my run time, I don't like the concept of racing around on my treadmill the way a hamster spins in his wheel.  At one time, I would have been disgusted of being relegated to indoors for my exercise.  But now I'm realizing that I feel better, I'm stronger...and being on a treadmill is a great time to memorize Scripture.  Finally, I am growing "more and more" -- that is, bit by bit -- in my running ability and have almost worked back up to my goal.

My spiritual walk is the same way.  Often I "feel" like I am doing well spiritually (i.e., going for runs every day), but in reality I'm not growing in the same way.  Other days I "feel" like a miserable Christian failure, like when emotions take over.  But Paul's emphasis on Thessalonians is not in our ability to train ourselves.  It's on God's role in our sancification:

"Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus direct our way to you, and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you."

"Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another."

More and more.  But when I try to increase in love myself, I find myself wheezing spiritually with the effort.  I'm going through the exercises, but I'm not getting anywhere because I can't deal with the problem.  My spiritual asthma -- the nagging irritating things that make people unlovable, the jealous self-seeking bitterness in my heart, the envy of the wicked and their rewards -- is a problem that I can't overcome in any way but changing the setting.

And that's to let God have His way in me.  To struggle, to fight, to strive, yes.  But to strive in the place He has for me.  To let Him teach me love.  To let Him direct my path.  To let Him make me stronger, to feel fitter, to implant His Word in my heart.

And under His tutelage, I won't run perfectly.  It'll be a while before I'm up for a marathon.  But He has already established my heart as blameless in holiness, because he who finds his strength in the Lord will appear before Him in Zion.